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Title: The Scribbler 1822-04-13 Volume 1, Issue 42s

Date of first publication: 1822

Author: Samuel Hull Wilcocke (1766-1833) (Editor)

Date first posted: Jan. 4, 2020

Date last updated: Jan. 4, 2020

Faded Page eBook #20200105

This eBook was produced by: Cindy Beyer & the online Distributed Proofreaders Canada team at https://www.pgdpcanada.net




THE SCRIBBLER.

Montreal. Saturday, 13th April, 1822.

SUPPLEMENT TO No. XLII.

Celebrare domestica facta.——Horace.

To celebrate domestic facts.

Habent facundiam suam.——Pomponius Mela.

    They express their sentiments with their own peculiar elegance

of diction.

——Mediis in partibus hircum,

Pectus et ora leæ, caudam draconis habebat.——Ovid.

His middle parts a rank old he-goat shew;

A lion’s jaws and breast, a serpent’s tail below.

 

REVIEW OF PUBLICATIONS.

Hints to parents on the cause of the fatality of children in Montreal and its vicinity. By W. W. Sleigh, member of the royal college of surgeons in London, etc. Printed by James Brown, 1821, 12 mo. pp. 29.

The principle upon which the author of this little tract proceeds is that, exclusive of diseases of the nature of the small-pox, the measles, etc. and such as proceed from accidents, all the diseases of children arise from a deranged state of the bowels. Dentition, and vermicular complaints are not included in his catalogue of such disorders as require medical treatment, since the former he considers as none, and the latter as only a symptom or effect of deranged bowels. But what are catarrhal and pulmonary affections, which frequently occur even in infants? and are not hereditary diseases often perceptible in the youngest? I am guilty however, of temerity in saying thus much upon such a subject; and it can not be denied that a strict attention to the state of the bowels of the little sufferers in whose behalf the author writes, and attacking such disorders as arise in the alimentary passages, in their earliest stages and their strongest holds, can not but be of the highest importance in preserving the lives of infants. The tract is written with much perspicuity; but by what fatality that expression is used as applied to the mortality of children, I can not conceive when I consider the general correctness of the language.

 

The Emigrant’s Assistant, or remarks on the agricultural interest of the Canadas. Part II. with a statistical account of some of the principal places in Canada. By A. J. Christie, A. M. Montreal, printed by N. Mower, 1821, pp. 156, price 3s.

In reviewing the first part of this little work (in No. 4.) I truly anticipated that the second part would be as amply deserving of attention. The principal regret that is experienced, when it is gone through, is that it has not been more extended in the statistical and descriptive accounts given. These are confined to the Island of Montreal, Terrebonne, and St. Andrews, in Lower Canada, and Richmond, Perth, and Niagara, in Upper Canada, being not a tythe of the places in which emigrants may settle advantageously, and, with the exception perhaps of the district of Niagara, such as are amongst the least eligible for settlers from the old country to make choice of. The district of Gaspe, the extensive range of the Eastern townships, (probably by far, all things considered, the most desirable of all for settlers,) Beauharnois, Godmanchester, and all the neighbouring parts, together with the whole of the new townships laid out on the North bank of the Ottawa, in Lower Canada, are not at all or very slightly noticed; whilst in the Upper Province, Glengary, the Bay of Quinté, the Rice Lake, the townships along the Thames, and the whole of the Western District, all places of attraction, are equally omitted. The ingenious author partly accounts for this by hinting that he has not received answers to queries he had addressed on matters connected with the purposes of his publication to various parts of the country; and it is to be hoped that he may be encouraged to pursue his enquiries, collecting all the information he can, and embodying it in a third part, which I am persuaded would find many purchasers in the mother country; but it must not be disguised that to ensure its circulation there it ought to be more correctly printed, for, independent of two whole pages of errata, there are innumerable other errors of the press disgracing almost every page.

The directions to settlers, appear to be judicious, and well worthy of their attention. Upon on the whole the style is clear, and well adapted for those for whose use it is principally intended. I should not, however, have expected in an A. M. the scotticism of severals for several, or the yankeeisms, elegant when applied to a literary work, and grade.

L. L. M.


DOMESTIC INTELLIGENCER.

By the arrival of the Vexer, Captain Turn’emout, at New York, intelligence has been received that the appointment of Agent in command and Comptroller general of the united rat-catching Company, which was expected by Lord Goddamnhim, has been otherwise disposed of. His lordship is said to be much in the dumps on the occasion; but in political arrangements some men are passed over because they are not known, and others because they are known.

The following is a correct account of the action which took place on the 28th ult. near College-hill, under the command of General Drillman. About eight o’clock the armies came in sight of each other; the light troops, who were very numerous advanced and as usual began skirmishing, when the general urged his cavalry to charge. The action was well supported, and much execution was done in a running fight for about an hour. The light troops made a gallant resistance at Fort Quadrille, and repulsed the cavalry, making several prisoners. At the close of the battle, three o’clock, the light troops remained masters of the field being superior in force. This was the most regular and steady action as yet witnessed in that quarter.

They write from Port Fitzmary that the principal ship-owners have determined upon navigating their own vessels, and putting in their sons, brothers, and cousins as masters, by which many clever mariners will be thrown out of employment. This is, however, some say, only vapour.

Two gentlemen returning home from a visit about eleven o’clock one evening last week, met with serious accidents, by a rag being thrown out of a house they were passing. A lady’s foot gave such an impetus to the rag that it capsized one of the gentlemen, whilst the knocker of the door hit the other under his eye. It is supposed that the rag so unceremoniously discarded by the lady was the wadding of a piece which had been charged and primed in order to shoot her.

At the police-office in St. John Street, was brought before the sitting magistrate, Barney O’Blunder, an Hibernian, charged by a fair neighbour, with assault and battery. In his defence Barney addressed his worship, saying, “Sure your honour, and it was all out of pure love, sure and if I didn’t love her would I take the pains to bate her at all, at all? It’s what we all do for what we’ve a fancy for, don’t I bate the floor when I dance, and sure your honour knows how I love flooring; and sure didn’t I strike the fish with my hook at Gaspy and t’other place, and don’t I love fish your honour, as well as an Irish paratee.” In conclusion the worthy magistrate recommended the parties to make the matter up amicably, which they promised to do and departed from the office arm in arm.

A curious circumstance occurred at the Caledonian chapel two Sundays ago. The soporiferous effects of the discourse were so powerful that the clerk, not able to resist them, fell fast asleep, and although at the conclusion of the sermon, even a prayer-book was thrown at his head, he could not be awakened, till the clergyman descended from the pulpit, and shook him thoroughly. The congregation, not being so heavily affected, were aroused from their slumbers by the first attack, and could not afterwards restrain the risibility naturally produced by the occurrence.

At a public dinner given at Aunt Martin’s hotel the 1st instant, (April fool’s day) amongst the sentiments uttered the following deserve to be recorded for their urbanity, liberality, and delicacy.

By Mr. Hippogriff,[1] Mr. Macculloh, may he be tarred and feathered and tossed in a blanket.

By Mr. Davy Junr.[2] The Scribbler; may he be tied to a post for all the ladies of Montreal to —— but even the brazen front of a newspaper editor shrinks from recording the delicate conclusion of this sentiment.

The company, however, were so devoid of taste and proper tact that they remained silent and bestowed no applause upon those sentiments.[3] Some of the party made, as usual on such occasions, too free with the bottle, but the dinner went off very well and did honour to the gentleman who gave it.

To sympathising bachelors, widowers, etc. A young lady, who has not yet met with that attention which her rank and merits entitle her to from the beaux of this city, proposes to exhibit herself, and her agility, by riding daily on unky’s nag when the weather permits, for which a celebrated master snip has been called upon to make the necessary decorations. She may be recognised from the other riders of her sex by the colour of her new riding habit, which is intended to rival the rising, or the setting, sun, which ever happens to be the reddest. It is hoped, as she is in great dread of dying an old maid, that some gentleman will consider her case, although a habit of dropping her petticoats may be looked on as an objection by those who do not like their wives should wear the breeches.


[1] The hippogriff in Ariosto, upon which Rogero performs his aerial journies, was partly a griffin and partly a horse, and it is from that animal that this gentleman is said to derive his origin, but in the course of the ages that have intervened there has probably been an intermixture of breeds, as the qualities of the ass appear to predominate over those of the horse in the present representative of the family.

[2] This young gentleman is said to be a natural son of Old Davy, whose locker is well known to seamen.

[3] In illustration of the above, I insert a copy of a letter received some time ago which still further exemplifies the spirit that actuates my most immaculate adversaries, and the friendly disposition towards me felt in other quarters.

Mr. Macculloh,

Being desirous of communicating any circumstances which may be prejudicial to you, I take the liberty of informing you that in a few days ago, Mr. McRobem McKillem McSlaughterem an agent of the devil residing in this city, and his concomitant Go-dummy, an associate of the same, said in my presence, and in the presence of some ladies, they were astonished that the writings of so scandalous a fellow as Macculloh should be so generally read; and as might be expected, the affected females (tho’ it is well known all the ladies in town are anxious in the extreme to get the earliest sight of your paper) were also of course astonished. That these imperious upstarts will not hold their tongues till a complete exposure of their past crimes, and present actions and manœuveres, will have been promulgated, is manifest. The good people of this city, I am afraid, are not aware of the despicable animals who exist among them.

A FRIEND.

Montreal, 11th March.


           POETS’ CORNER.

 

               WINTER.

 

The Sun’s still faint, and dim, the weather cold,

The prattling brooks bound fast in icy hold,

Their murmurs still, each softly gurgling sound

In silence lost, cease louder to resound.

The desolated, hollow, leafless, wood

Stands dress’d in mournful white-robed winterhood:[4]

A dreary sight, when midnight Boreas howls

And flying clouds shoot forth their angry scowls.

Once verdant fields now lie a lonely waste,

All nature seems in terror, looks aghast,

And rural notes that fill’d the pleasant dale,

No more arise to greet the gentle gale.

Ah! winter, emblem of the human mind,

Too faithful picture when no taste refined

The bosom swells; lost to each soaring thought,

O man! thy life is gloomy and woe-fraught.

                                         G. C.


[4] These two lines contain a redeeming beauty of novel poetic excellence, that makes amends for the mediocrity and inanity of the rest of these verses.


Exhibition.  A Raree-sight, to be seen every day, by the public, through the windows of a house in Notre-Dame street: a fondling, dandled most delightfully in the arms, of its exulting father. N. B. Friends and acquaintances are admitted within, gratis, and much entertained by a description of the intellectual powers, and personal beauties of the little bambino.

 

Wanted.  Two hundred shares of the stock of a common and public nuisance, for which ten per cent. above the market price will be given. Apply to

TOM TAN,

Puffer to the Junto for gulling the public.


To be sold by auction, the first day of fine weather.

Two or three suits of old clothes,

Several old penknives, and a few old razors,

A few old combs, only some teeth wanting,

A copy of Thomson’s Castle of Indolence, rather dog-eared, and a variety of other articles, the property of a D. A. C. G. which are sold in order to defray the expenses of a dinner given to his friends at an hotel, when he made them pay their own shot for wine.

Also, a consignment of fans, with instructions for quadrilling printed on them, for the use of ladies who have not completely gone through their exercises. N. B. Although the season for balls has nearly expired, they will be found very useful to study during the summer, to ensure perfection next winter.

 

Proposals for publishing by subscription, a history of the life and amours of the celebrated Lord Goddamnhim; with biographical anecdotes of his several mistresses, and an alphabetical catalogue of his bye-blows of all colours. In the course of the work will be given an account how he diddled Sir Alexander, and bit the rest of the kit; with a particular description of his new and approved method of keeping accounts upon scraps of paper and backs of letters. In an appendix will be given the various prescriptions and topical remedies that have been administered to his lordship, forming a complete vademecum for any medical student desirous of studying all the varieties of a certain fashionable disorder.

Printed and Published by Dicky Gossip at the Sign of the Tea-Table.


TO CORRESPONDENTS.

Blunderhead Quixotte, will see that his communication has been availed of as far as propriety would admit. A Friend to the Joly Scribbler, is particularly and personally thanked for his intelligence; that part which has not yet been introduced will come in another time, particularly that relative to McRavish McKillaway and Co. as soon as further enquiries have been made. A second letter from Ant Peg in the Country will appear next number; and so will part of Sappho’s prose, the rest of it, however, and her verses, tho’ excellent, are really too indelicate for a female pen; I shall nevertheless be happy to hear from her again. I accept with unfeigned pleasure the offer made by an ingenious correspondent at Quebec, to furnish me with essays on the follies and characters that cut a figure in that city: his first essay will have an early insertion: I beg the favour of his giving me an address at Quebec to which I may direct some queries. Nobody will see that as our Quebec friends will now also become amenable to my tribunal, his communication will come in better along with the rest than by itself. The profaneness and impiety of Cuffee’s funeral sermon, would render it utterly inadmissible, even if it were possessed of that wit and humour at which it aims, but of which it is totally destitute. G.’s. letter is received and will be attended to next week.

L. L. M.


TRANSCRIBER NOTES

Misspelled words and printer errors have been corrected. Where multiple spellings occur, majority use has been employed.

Punctuation has been maintained except where obvious printer errors occur.

 

[The end of The Scribbler 1822-04-13 Volume 1, Issue 42s edited by Samuel Hull Wilcocke]