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Title: The Enquirer Issue 02 of 12 (June 1821)

Date of first publication: 1821

Author: Various

Date first posted: May 28 2013

Date last updated: May 28 2013

Faded Page eBook #20130529

This eBook was produced by: L. Harrison, Marcia Brooks & the online Distributed Proofreaders Canada team at http://www.pgdpcanada.net





 

 

 


THE

ENQUIRER.

 

A Quebec Publication,

 

BY

C. D. E.

 

HEAR HIM!!!

 

No 2.     June 1, 1821.     Vol 1.


TO THE PUBLIC.

Encouraged by our few friends who have perused our first number, we venture farther our frail skiff on the dangerous stream of public opinion, assured as we are, that the sincerity of these friends would have led them to advise us not to proceed, rather than to stimulate us by their flattering praises, to persist in our perilous undertaking. We are farther encouraged by the respectability as well in the number as in the quality of those who have already honored our feeble beginning by allowing their names to be set down on the list of Subscribers.

This number, however exceeding our most sanguine expectations is as yet far from covering our expences, nevertheless, we shall not stick close to our first intention of waiting until the list of Subscribers should amount to two hundred, but shall persevere at our risks and perils to fulfil our monthly engagements, nay farther, we are resolved, so soon as our present expences are covered immediately to increase the number of our pages, and the bulk of our publication; and so soon as our Press shall be possessed of the necessary accents and cedilles, the Enquirer will then contain Communications in the French Language.

[Pg 18]We have been blamed by some of our friends for not having sent them our first number, this apparent neglect did not proceed from any disrespect for them, but from a sense of delicacy on our part. Had we sent it immediately, it might have been considered as laying on them the obligation of Subscribing, before they had the opportunity of knowing the nature or even the existence of the work. This motive of delicacy however was removed, in a great degree, by the readiness with which most of our friends came forward, to insert their names on our list of Subscribers.

Nous aurions bien voulu dés le commencement de l'éxistence de ce melange périodique, qu'il nous eut été possible de converser et de communiquer avec ceux de nos concitoyens qui n'ont pas fait une etude assez approfondie de la langue Anglaise pour la lire avec plaisir et avec fruit. Mais l'Imprimerie dont nous faisons usage pour sa publication n'est point munie des caractères necessaires pour imprimer dans la langue Française. Nous espérons cependant, si nous recevons un encouragement suffisant, que cet obstacle sera bientot surmonte par l'acquisition des matériaux qui nous manquent.


C. D. E. TO HIS FRIENDS.

What is that? An Enquirer! and by C D'E? what in the name of fortune can induce the old fellow to intrude on the public his antiquated and out of the way notions, and the effusions of his dotage! That and a great deal more has already been said, on the sight of the first number of the periodical miscellany launched into the Canadian world under that title. The answer to the above question as well as to any other of the same tendency, will be dictated by that candor that proceeds always from rectitude of intention.

C D'E is really an odd kind of a fellow, who has no relish for those pursuits that are in general the prevalent ones in the world. He finds no pleasure in eating, drinking, gambling, swearing, racing, coursing, shooting, flattering, fawning, cringing, dressing, slandering, and a long strain of &c. &c. &c.s, even his bed becomes irksome after six or seven hours laying in it. When young, the vital spirits, being then stronger than the mental faculties, led him to participate in the greater part of these gratifications, but arrived at more mature years their chiefest attraction vanished, and the mental faculties[Pg 19] began to assume the superiority. The french Revolution had afterwards a great influence on a mind, whose activity did not yield to that of the body; and the subsequent duty imposed upon him, by his becoming the father of a family, who, in consequence of the awful state of public affairs, had no other dependance than upon him for an education suitable to their birth, gave the finish to that inquiring turn which has constituted his favourite enjoyment for these thirty years past.

Since that, age has greatly impaired his bodily faculties. His limbs have lost their agility, his eyes require the assistance of glasses, and his hearing is almost bordering on surdity. One of his former choice amusements, (dancing) is out of the question and walking becomes tiresome; serious reading brings on sleep; in company he can no longer join in the general conversation which conveys to his hearing but a confused and indistinct noise.

Thus situated, it would have been, perhaps, fortunate for him, if his mental faculties had progressively decayed together with the physical ones. But unluckily, it seems that the very reverse has happened; for it appears that the former ones keep adding to their primitive stock that share which is successively stolen from the latter, by that bald pated fellow to whose enquiries every thing must inevitably yield. But has C. D. E. no occupation then? Had he indeed any profession or daily employment requiring his whole and sole attention, his thoughts would be fixed and centred on a certain object; but his business demands more activity of the body than intensity of thought; it leaves therefore these unoccupied, and being at liberty to range far and wide, they rest for a while on any object that happens to strike them. Ideas thus accumulate in his upper story, where, meeting together, they ferment and amalgamate, hence opinions just or erroneous naturally spring up like mushrooms on a hot bed. These opinions are adopted and nursed with parental affection until their maturity, when they become riotous and threaten to burst open their prison if its doors are closed on them. Now C. D. E. entertains the foolish idea that his head is worth while preserving as long as he can, that therefore, it is better to yield to a rebellious progeny than to expose himself to the danger of losing it by a powerless resistance, added to this the persuasion that their manumission might perchance be conducive of some benefit to society, and as the whole of his life has been constantly devoted to the service of others, often even regardless of his own interest, he hopes by emitting them to evince still that devotion, happy if that hope, like many others, does not prove fallacious and delusive.

C. D. E. will conclude this address to his friends, and to all future questions, cavil, censure, &c. that his present undertaking has already provoked or may provoke hereafter, by again assuring, on the word of an honest man and a gentleman that[Pg 20] emolument, reward or remuneration of any kind, are the very last of his views in writing and publishing. Satisfied with little, without affecting a stoical rejection of increasing by honorable means the power of enlarging the sphere of rational enjoyments, he can safely say, that he is as happy as he may reasonably expect to be; and shall always think himself so, so long as it shall please God to maintain him in the enjoyment of his mental faculties.

As to the fear expressed by some of them, that this undertaking might turn out a losing concern, C. D. E. will set them at ease by assuring them, that his fortune will not suffer so much by this presumable loss, as it would do by the keeping of horses, by expensive dinners and by all those fashionable pleasures, which might entitle him from others to the name of a good old jolly fellow, but which in his own opinion, would rather deserve another qualification.—Every one rides his hobby.

To you my dear children, I owe the sweetest portion of that happiness I am boasting of, for which take the thanks of a father and his paternal blessing: yet young in the world, your entrance into it is rather promising, and, by a strict adherence to the dictates of probity, may your prosperity go progressively increasing with age, so that at the end of your career you need not fear to cast a retrospective glance on the past, nor despair of a happy hereafter.


REPUBLICAN CANDOUR!

In looking over old papers, the following extract and letter were found, and are here inserted, to shew that the Canadians had then bitter enemies and some staunch friends. The result of the late contest with our worthy neighbours has proved two things; the first, that the contents of the letter in reply were not mere wind and boasting, and secondly, that the conquest of this country shall at all times from those that might attempt it require the aid of more than a single man or cent. The originals are in the hands of the Printer. Both were sent to the Editor of the Stamford Mercury for insertion.

SAUSTHORPE, near SPILSBY, April 24, 1808.
Sir,

Relying on the purity of your political principles and knowing the so well deserved extensive circulation of your paper, may I beg the favor and indulge the hope of seeing the following lines inserted in it. Their object is to vindicate the Canadians and especially the French Canadians, against whom the Liverpool Chronicler has published in his paper of the 14th instant a most foul, wicked and false accusation, said to have been extracted from the American papers, and of which I transmit herein a true copy. If the paragraph alluded to contained only the ridiculous tale that the Gaols of Lower Canada[Pg 21] were over crouded with &c. it would have deserved only a smile of contempt. Poor Soul! he must fill up his columns! But when he positively affirms that my Countrymen are ripe for revolt, that their unanimity against this their mother Country is as great as that of the hodge podge mob of their neighbours; that the conquest (over whom?) of Canada will be the fruit of their own efforts, and will not require the aid of a single man or cent on the part of the united states, then, I, as a Canadian, I, as having some of my nearest and dearest relatives in that Country, am called upon to come forward, not merely as the Champion for believe me, Mr. Editor, every Canadian is able and willing to fight his own battle, but as the bold assertor of a truth deeply engraven on all our hearts, and that none of us will contradict; namely, that notwithstanding the neglect which we have hitherto experienced, His Majesty has not more loyal subjects than the french Canadians, and that they are all ready to stand up in defence of his person and government. That no republican principles, propagandic argument nor mobocratic trick shall ever be able to make us swerve from our duty. I could extend much farther this our political creed, but I am aware that the room you can grant me in your paper does not allow it.

I shall therefore only add that if I thought the Law would take cognizance of this libel of the Liverpool Chronicler, and if I could afford the expence of such a law suit I would prosecute him, if not as the author, at least as the propagator of so foul an aspersion.

Before I conclude however, give me leave to add, Sir, in support of my assertions above, an extract of a letter which I received in the course of last year from a near relation of mine who resides in Canada. He has been a Lieutenant on half pay since the American war; during the first period of the present he was a Captain in the loyal Canadian Volunteers, but was reduced again to his half pay at the short lived peace, and his only son bears a Commission under his Majesty from the very moment he was able to lift up a sword—having mentioned the rumour of a rupture with the Americans and the probable devastation that their mode of warfare would bring on the landed property of the Canadians he adds: But let the mother Country send over only 3000 men, and we will soon shew to those Ragamuffins that the Canadians n'ont pas peur de leur peau,[1] and soon make them trace back their steps to their wilds.

With pleasure I seize this opportunity of subscribing myself most sincerely,

Sir,                                    
Your most Obedient,    
Humble Servant    
D. E.

[Pg 22]

HERE FOLLOWS THIS CURIOUS EXTRACT OF THE LIVERPOOL
CHRONICLER.

Or Intelligencer and Commercial Advertiser. April 14th, 1808.

We have delayed to publish our information respecting the feelings of the Canadians on the question of war between the United States and Britain. We cannot preserve a longer silence, since we draw our information, not from a few individuals, but from the concurrence of all the respectable characters, who are frequently visiting Vermont from Lower Canada. We can state with confidence, that except their news-papers, which are published under the eye of the provincial government, and which teem with hostilities against the United States, there is an unanimity amongst the Canadians, against Great Britain, as great as that among the people of the United States, at the commencement of the revolution. We predict from a source of information to be relied upon, and we call on our readers to remember, that in the event of a war, (which may Heaven avert!) the conquest of Canada will be the fruit of their own efforts and will not require the aid of a single man OR CENT on the part of the United States. The Canadians, already cease to regard with confidence the effusions of their gazettes on the approaching rupture; their gaols are filled and running over with subjects arrested for dissatisfaction to the orders for arraying themselves in a warlike posture against America, and republican papers circulate to a considerable extent in both provinces.


AN ENQUIRY INTO THE INSTITUTION OF JURIES.

Whatever country of old may claim the priority of the institution of Juries in the trial for criminal offences, it appears certain, that the truly Great Alfred was he, who introduced this mode of process in the British Criminal Courts.

The object of this enquiry is not therefore to discover its origin, its founder, its Creator, if one may make use of that expression, but it is to enter into the views which induced the wise Monarch to adopt it in his dominions. These views being the necessary consequence of the state of society in England at that epoch, it will be proper to precede our enquiry by a short historical sketch of it.

The successive and successful invasions of Great Britain by the Danes and Saxons, had for several centuries, kept that country in a depressed and disordered state, the greatest obstacle to every kind of improvement. Education being altogether out of the question, and sciences at the lowest ebb, that in these respects Alfred was compelled to call in strangers to his assistance.

After having by the superiority of his abilities recovered his crown and subdued his enemies, he applied himself to restore order in his dominions. One of the most powerful means to obtain[Pg 23] this was the promulgation of strict municipal laws and regulations, and their rigorous execution by an impartial and firm distribution of justice. He was sensible however that he could not by himself personally every where be the dispenser of that justice, and the difficulty, nay the impossibility of meeting within his dominions many, duly qualified to represent him in his distant provinces, he was compelled to adopt the plan of sending the small number of people of that description about him, to see to the due execution of the laws and to punish their transgression.

These laws are equally remarkable by their simplicity and their wisdom.

The whole kingdom was divided and subdivided in regard to territory and population, and each of these subdivisions contained one hundred heads of families, which were under the authority of a public officer; the territory took the denomination of the hundred and the officer that of High Constable or Head borough.

The whole population of each subdivision was responsible for all the damages that might accrue from the commission of crimes within its respective limits, and to prevent negligence in repressing disorder, another regulation was this, that not one individual could settle in any other hundred, besides his own, without the consent of the inhabitants of that hundred where he wished to remove himself. The heavy responsibility laid upon them made them very cautious how they gave that consent: it was preceded by the strictest enquiry about the conduct and the reputation of the applicant for it, and thus they obtained as complete a knowledge of his character as if he had been all his life settled among them.

Success attended completely the wisdom of these regulations, and the reign of Alfred subsequent to their enactment was remarkable for its tranquillity. Nevertheless man is always man, too often led astray by the violence of his passions. It was necessary to protect society and punish criminals, and this was the duty of those ambulatory judges, to each of whom was assigned a certain circuit and the places where they were to hold their assizes.

The commission of crimes shuns always the broad day; the perpetrator of deeds of wickedness seldom choses his theatre where the eyes of man can witness them. It is therefore often difficult to convince him on positive evidence. It is true that in many cases mere presumptive is equally satisfactory to justify his condemnation. But it may likewise happen that presumptive evidence as to facts is not sufficiently strong to satisfy the conscience of the judge who is to pass sentence on the accused, whatever be besides his internal conviction of his guilt.

If the judge had had the opportunity of being acquainted with the general tenor of the conduct of the accused then before him, he might have added the moral presumption accruing from[Pg 24] that knowledge to that more substantial one resulting from the enquiry; and if that knowledge had been favourable to the accused he would have given to him the benefit of it, by exonerating him of the charge against him; if on the contrary, that knowledge had convinced him that the accused had already merited the public animadversion by his misdeeds, then, considering him as a dangerous member of society, the Judge would unhesitatingly have passed sentence against him. But no; that Judge, being a perfect stranger to that part of the country wherein he was to sit in judgment, could not have any such knowledge, and therefore found himself in the perplexing dilemma, either to let loose on society a dangerous depredator for want of sufficient presumptive evidence, or to condemn an innocent, on proofs of that force that should seem to require of him his utmost severity.

This perplexing dilemma did not escape the sagacity of Alfred, and pointed out to him the expediency of adding to the legal ability of his judges the assistance of assessors, who from their necessary knowledge of the course of life of those who might be brought before them, could supply to that which might be wanting in positive or presumptive evidence. With the then existing laws no danger of any impediment to the due course of justice could result from that addition.

On one side their responsibility for crimes committed within their district, urged the neighbours of the accused, to put a stop to a line of conduct, that might ultimately expose them to heavy damages, and in that case a verdict against him justified the sentence of his punishment. On the other hand the connexion necessarily existing between neighbours, to which might be added, the relations of blood and the partialities of friendship, would incline the assessors favorably towards the accused, when the proofs of the charge against him were not of sufficient weight to counterbalance the moral probability of his innocence, presumed from his uniformly good behaviour. In both cases the conscience of the judge was set at ease, and the sentence or discharge of the accused removed the possibility of any impeachment against him for prevarication.

Such was the sole object of the institution of juries. They were mere assessors to interpose between those perplexing cases, that often occur when the evidence produced is so approximate to positive proof, that it would be repugnant to the sense of justice due to the public not to take it for positive, whilst on the contrary, other circumstances arising out of the trial, might leave doubts in the mind of the judge, and alarm his conscience.

This institution was then absolutely necessary, perfectly efficient and admirably contrived. Whether under the existing laws juries are still as necessary, as efficient, and as deserving our admiration, will be the object of a future enquiry.


[Pg 25]

THE GROANS OF A TRADESMAN.

Groan 1. After showing your whole stock to a stranger, and seeing him lay aside article after article, as if for purchase, beholding him select from the heap some half-crown article, desiring it may be sent him immediately to the further extremity of the town.

Second. Endeavouring in vain to hook a shy customer, who keeps nibbling round the bait, but will not venture to bite.

Third. Being obliged to listen to the dry stories of a long winded customer, who thinks by laying out half a dozen shillings, he amply reimburses you for as many hours of misery.

Fourth. As you are setting off to attend a sale, to purchase an article you particularly want, being interrupted by the entrance of a customer—then in your hurry to dispatch his business, committing a hundred mistakes, which you are obliged to rectify—then setting off, at full speed, through the streets, at the hazard of breaking your head or your neck, pursued by the curses and threats of the people you jostle—then arriving at the auction, breathless and exhausted, just as the lot you wanted has been knocked down for half the price you intended to have given for it.

Fifth. Visits, or rather visitations, of those gentry, who lay aside articles—for which they will call to-morrow—

"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow;
Creeps in its petty place, and from day to day—"

but these gentry are by no means punctual.

Sixth. Attending a sale of furniture in the dog-days, wedged in amidst a crowd of unwashed, uncombed attendants, till you are half dissolved with heat—your ears deafened with the Stentorian voice of the auctioneer and the clamorous vociferation of the bidders—and your olfactory nerves tortured by a rank compound of villainous smells, you behold with joy the appearance of the articles for which you have braved all the horrors of stench, noise and suffocation—and have the further satisfaction of seeing the whole of them monopolized, at double their value, by some of those sagacious gentry, who think nothing dear but what they buy in the shop of a tradesman.

Seventh. Attempting to please a customer, who is resolved not to be pleased.

Eighth. Being troubled by the custom of a shabby fellow, who will not be offended.

Ninth. Being asked for the credit of a person whom you are unwilling to offend, yet resolved not to trust.

Tenth. After running about all the morning, just as you are sitting down, with a keen appetite, to a hot dinner, being called[Pg 26] away to attend a person who sets no value on his own time, and as little on yours, and who, lounging away an hour (which to your impatience seems a century,) kindly departs, leaving you no consolation—for the loss of a good dinner, your patience, and your appetite.


THE MONKEYS!

A manufacturer in England, who did business with a Portuguese Merchant, was desirous of keeping a couple of monkeys for the amusement of his family. Accordingly he wrote to his customer in Portugal, and desired him to send him two of those animals. But he spelt the word two, too, and as he made his t short, and straight, and did not cross it, the word looked like 100 in number, and the merchant understood it to mean 100. Accordingly the merchant endeavoured to procure 100 monkies, but could not conveniently send him more than 25! the expense of which was very great by the time they reached the English manufacturer; who was very much astonished at the number sent, and at the expense of their freight, and keeping! and still more surprized at the apology which came in the letter for not sending 100!


THIRTEEN IN COMPANY.

There is a very old superstition, not yet wholy extinct, that thirteen in company is an unlucky number. It originated, most probably, in the Romance of "Sir Tristam." There were thirteen seats to the round table in honour of the thirteen apostles; but the chair of Judas it was deemed unlucky to occupy.


SPRING.

It is likely that the picture here presented of that delightful season of the year, will appear rather an ideal than a true one, to those who never overstepped the limits of this province. They never saw the Lark raising almost perpendicularly until out of sight, continuing its pleasing altho' wild notes, from that very moment that it leaves the ground until its return in the same way, and exactly to the same place from whence it started, when it becomes silent. Neither have they ever enjoyed the fragrant and delicious odors, exhaled from that sweet scented violet, a simple production of the fields, wafted by the gentle breezes of that season, which might be said hardly to be known in this country, wherein the transition from intense cold to excessive heat is almost instantaneous. The true nightingale is not an inmate of the[Pg 27] forests here and therefore it is not impossible for any one to form to himself an idea of the sensations, produced by the plaintively melodious trilling notes, with which this bird seems to try to amuse and lull asleep his faithful mate, then assiduously sitting upon her nest. Another bird likewise unknown here is the Cuckoo, whose monotonous repetition of its own name would have nothing pleasing, were it not that these sounds were sure indices of the Spring being near at hand. Besides these, what a variety of other birds by their bustle, at that season, add to the liveliness of the scene. Around houses and barns thousands of Sparrows provide for the propagation of their already too numerous tribe: Gardens swarm with divers species of Finches: Porches eves and chimneys are taken possession of by the Swallows: the Thrush and the Blackbird animate hedges and bowers: the innumerable flocks of rooks, with whom associate the speckled starling, crown the tallest trees in man's vicinity with their coarse nest of sticks, and the chatty magpie in its mourning dress hops along in quest of its food. All these birds seem at that time of the year to have laid aside their fear for man; they flock in the neighbourhood of his dwelling; and they fill up the empty space above his head; and forming a kind of ladder between him and the Most High, their motley concert mingles itself with the praises of man, for the abundant favors bestowed, by the bountiful hand of the Creator on all that has life. It is impossible to convey by words an idea of the sensations produced during this period of the year; both the senses and the intellectual faculties are equally affected, and he who does not join in the ecstasy resulting from the combination of such enlivening scenes must be dead to all feeling. Here follows a feeble attempt at the description of that love of God and man inspiring season.

Behold fair Aurora, with her rosy hands opens the gates of the east, and out sallies Spring in all the bloom of the darling child of nature! Adorned with the gayest colors of youth he comes from behind that mountain yet crowned with snow: But see how swift at his approach that wintry crown divests itself of its inertness, and flying through a thousand channels hurries to hide itself in the oceanic abyss: whilst the plain eagerly spreads its verdant carpet before the welcome guest. The flowers heedless of the destiny that dooms them to a short existence, anxiously come forth to gratify their curiosity, and then, joyfully droop and die. Even the modest violet, forgetful of her native coyness, dares to emerge out of her grassy bed and to gaze wantonly on the stripling and then, after having solicited and obtained a smiling look from the object of her love, she returns to her humble obscurity, leaving to the breath of gentle zephyrs to convey to her well-beloved the tribute of her perfume. Listen to the winged Choristers tuning their pipes to salute the love inspiring youth. Mark the shrill[Pg 28] lark how she mounts up to announce to the skies his return on earth; listen to the solitary thrush in broken lays singing an hymn in his praise, whilst the monotonous voice of the cuckoo is heard, at a distance. But—Philomel too proud of her superiority to mix in the motley concert of the day, fashionably waits the silent night to express in the sweetest and most enchanting melody, her delight at the return of the universal favourite.


PATRIOTISM.

To the Editor,
Sir,

I was lately in company with one of those metaphysical, logical, controversial gentlemen, who delight in showing off their argumentative powers, by opposing every subject that is introduced, and, by the substitution of subtleties for reason, and sophistry for common sense, confuse the mind of plain unlogical folks, like your humble servant. The subject we were on was Patriotism; the existence of which he denied, and ran glibly over all the common arguments generally urged against it, as well as some which appeared to me very uncommon indeed. When I escaped from his jargon, the conversation produced the following thoughts, which, if you think worthy of a place in the Enquirer you will oblige me by their insertion.

A Patriot, Sir, I would define as one whose chief principle of action is the liberties and welfare of his countrymen. To doubt of the existence of men who merit the appellation, or what amounts to the same, to doubt of the existence of the virtue itself, appears to me to be an instance of the wildest scepticism; and were such a doubt to have a general influence, it would prove one of the most baneful evils that could happen to society, and by destroying every social and generous feeling; it would introduce the wretched and tyrannical reign of self.

Like every other popular excellence in character, Patriotism will have its imitators or hypocrites, and they will most likely be as six to one of those who are actuated by its genuine principles. But this instead of being made an argument against the existence of this excellence, is one of the strongest, that can be advanced in support of that existence, as it is a general argument, founded on the nature of things. It is an axiom, approaching to a truism that a thing must exist, before it can be imitated.

Patriotism is a virtue universally and justly celebrated. All nations from the first associations of mankind, to the present moment, and from the darkest savage to the most enlightened intelligence have sung its praises; and almost deified those men who have acted up to its sublime impulses, which virtue all men in all ages, and in all the varied circumstances in which nature may[Pg 29] have placed them, have not ceased to acknowledge, nay, almost to worship,—must exist; and to deny it seems the very dotage of unbelief.—

It would be an easy task to refer to the names of those truly illustrious characters, who, by the universal consent of the ages in which they have lived, as well as the approbation, and wonder of after ages, to whom their actions have been handed down by the historian, have been dignified by the name of Patriot; but this is unnecessary. Such a cloud of witnesses will arise to the mind of every one of general reading, of men whose disinterested, noble and glorious exertions in behalf of their respective countries, and in behalf of all mankind, as must instantly put scepticism to flight, and demonstrate even to shallow minds beyond the possibility of doubt the existence of this noble feeling. To attempt to prove it would be insulting the understandings of mankind, and trifling with the reader's patience. It will perhaps be more useful to expose the sophistry of those arguments advanced by men who have fondly hoped by them, to banish this virtue from the earth. But this must form the subject of another Letter.

G. S.

FIVE HUNDRED YEARS HENCE!

London, October 1, 2318.—This place, once a metropolis, but now an obscure village, is daily becoming less in the estimation of its inhabitants and its neighbours. The small fishing trade, which is now the only trade exercised here, is incompetent to support much longer the few people who reside at this place. There is no other resource, as the ground, for many miles round, cannot be cultivated, it being all a complete heap of ruins. There were found here lately a few of the coins of George III. called, at that time, sovereigns and regents. They are considered by the curious as being well worthy attention, as they involve much speculative opinion relative to the cause of our present low station in the scale of nations. One ballad press does all the printing required to be executed here.

Oxford, October 1, 2318.—This place, once an university, and a large, extensive, and flourishing town, has dwindled, year by year, to its present insignificance. This is not much to be wondered at, as the sight of colleges desolate, inhabitants fled, and every part of the town showing, that the prosperity of the country had long since been at its meridian, and is now sinking into oblivion, is no very interesting prospect, or enticement for young men, to those studies, which flourish as a country flourishes.

Yesterday there arrived here three students, to the only one college remaining, and, we are sorry to say, it is expected no more will come this season.

To be continued.


[Pg 30]

BRITTON ABBOT,

Concluded from page 13.

Britton said he had always worked hard and well; but he would not deny but that he had loved a mug of good ale when he could get it. When I told him my object of enquiring after him, that it was in order that other poor persons might have cottages and grounds as neat as his, and that he must tell me all his secret, how it was to be done, he seemed extremely pleased, and very much affected; he said, "nothing would make poor folks more happy, than finding that great folks thought of them:" that he wished every poor man had as comfortable a spot of land as his own; not but that he believed there might be a few thriftless fellows, who would not do good upon it.

I asked him whether he had not had a cow. He said that he had had one, and she had died, and, having no other place but the lane to keep this cow, he had not attempted to get another.—"'Could you get more land, if you had a cow?' He thought he could. 'Supposing then,' I added, 'a cow could be bought for four pound ten, and you could rent it on the terms of paying one pound ten shillings at the end of each year, during three years; and that the cow was to be yours at the end of three years, if she lived, and you paid regularly, do you think such a bargain would answer for you?' Yes, he said, he was sure it would very greatly; and there were few poor men to whom it would not be a very great advantage, especially where they had a family of children. I told him to enquire whether he could get a little land; and I would have some more talk with him about it, when I came down in August."

This narrative affords, among other things a striking proof of the beneficial effects of giving to the Labouring Classes a small portion of land, at the same time, evinces the necessity of Industry in the Emigrants if they ever intend to benefit themselves upon Land.


[Pg 31]

ABUSE OF GREAT NAMES.

Fortune alas! how sportest thou on earth!
Fame; thou'rt a wind—a bubble gave thee birth!
Say, where those names that set the world on fire!
Where do the pride of Rome and Greece retire?
Hectors dread name now marks the butchers dog!
Cato tends sheep! and Brutus drives a hog!
Look ye for Pompey, search the tanner's yard!
You'l meet with Cæsar in yon orchard's guard:
But rivals still for fame unknown to fears,
A bone unpicked shall set them by the ears;
See Scipio bolt of war! the bull essay,
Whilst Nero, blood hound still makes man his prey:
Thus fares it with renown—nor Gods retain
One jot of rev'rence for their name or fame,
Juno, Mars, Venus,—lapdogs now and bitches
With mangy coats are drown'd and float in ditches!
Liv'd ye on earth, ye once fam'd pair of sages[2]
Who view'd from different points the crimes of ages
How wouldst thou weep for greatness so burlesq'd,
How wouldst thou laugh at dogs in regal vest.
One pitied, one condemn'd the woful times,
One laughed at follies, one lamented crimes.

THEN LET FOLKS JEER.

Warm be my gear,
And let folks jeer.
To ruling states let others turn,
For conquest and for kingdoms burn;
But let my humble mouth be burning
With rolls, hot buttered every morning;
And, in the winter cold and drear,
A dram, or jug of strong beer.
Then let folks jeer.
From golden vase let princes eat,
'Midst thousand fears, the pampering treat;
And taste of Car's all-bittering pill,
'Tis gilded, but 'tis bitter still.
The store my board is wont to bear
Is frugal, but 'tis wholesome cheer,
So let folks jeer.
And while the hills and mountains grow,
with silvery ice and driven snow,
Then be my smiling heart well stored,
With crackling chesnuts, a good hoard;
Nor want there friends, the house to cheer,
With goblin tales of pleasant fear;
Then let folks jeer.
Let merchants, and I wish them joy,
To seek more gold their hours employ,
Whilst I alone the breezy strand,
Seek shells and cockles in the sand,
And Philomel's sweet accent hear,
From trees that guard yon fountain clear;
And let folks jeer.
Leander haply would delight
To stem the waves at dead of night,
Nor fear to cool the amorous flame
That let him to the expecting dame;
I better like, devoid of fear,
To ford yon stream so bright and clear;
And let folks jeer.
For love, the cruel little knave
To Pyramus and Thisbe gave,
A sword instead of bridal bed,
And joined them both, but joined them dead;
A pastry be my Thisbe here,
And use my tooth for a rapier;
So let folks jeer.

[Pg 32]

THE WHISKERS.

Ladies mark the Moral.

A noble captain woo'd a maid,
In whiskers and a huge cockade,
And vow'd and swore, as lovers do,
What might be, but it was not true.
For her and her affections, he
Swore he would compass land or sea;
To prove his passion seek the Pole,
Or cross the line, upon his soul!
Fetch her the beard of Prester John,
The turban once Mah'met had on;
Nay, all of what he'd be the donor,
Was what he couldn't tell—'pon honor!
But Ann had been three years from school,
And wasn't therefore quite a fool;
She thought an easier task might prove
His having, or his lack of love,
Than sending him a Bruce-like journey,
With his own story to return t' ye.
So simply said—'Dear Sir, I own
You might this wond'rous love make known—
But then I fear—' 'Your fears are wrong;
My passion's ardent, firm and strong;
Words cannot paint its fervent force,
My body, life, and soul, are yours!
Angelic maid, I swear—' said he.
'Yes, and lie too, I fear,' thought she.
But quick rejoin'd—'the proof I ask
Will be at least no distant task;
But you will promise first to do,
Whatever I request of you.'
'Ah, Madam! can you doubt me still?
Well, by my whiskers! then I will.'
'Those whiskers,' said she, 'and that feather,
Are awkward, Sir, or frightful rather:
Pray cut them off—when shaved clean,
You'll look half as genteel again.'
'My whiskers—whiskers, did you say?
No, curse me! not my whiskers! ay
My feather—may be—rather strange—
That, Madam, I may cut or change—
'No! whiskers I abominate—
A trifle! can you hesitate?'
'A trifle! curse me, Madam, no!
My whiskers are not trifles! Know
There is not in the land beside,
A pair so red, so thick, so wide.
You surely jest—' 'No, no, not I—
Your whiskers, or your suit must fly.'
'Then, Madam, tho' I love you more
Than ever lover lov'd before—
And tho' I might give up my feather
I'll not cut off my whiskers neither!'
Pray, ladies, mark the moral here.
When lovers flatter, vow, and swear
Glance thro' the glitt'ring sophistries
And find out where the whisker lies
Some fav'rite folly prompts as all,
And only Love can work its fall;
But where affection truly reigns,
All vain pretensions it disdains:
As shadows shun the beam of day,
It throws the whiskers far away.
The mind another temper takes,
Nor feels the sacrifice it makes.

ROYAL SOLILOQUY.

Is she a queen? Oh word of import dire!
For God's sake C——h, do stir that fire
Is she a princess? ah what man can tell?
What modern wight, what learned Sydrophel?
The world says yes—and I alone say no:
C——g can't tell, and C——h don't know.
A queen! there's that cursed word again!
Be kind, ye stars! nor let it curse my reign.
——s

QUEBEC, PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY W. H. SHADGETT,
AT THE NATIONAL AND BRITISH PRINTING OFFICE.


APARTMENTS,

FURNISHED, Consisting of two Sitting Rooms, two Bed Rooms and a Kitchen; all on the same floor.

The situation is Central and in the Upper Town. Suitable for a genteel small family.

Stabling if Required.

 

Enquire at the National Printing Office, Hope
Street.


REGISTER FOR SERVANTS, EMIGRANTS
&c.

The Register Established last year for Emigrants &c. will be continued at the Store adjoining the National Printing Office, Hope Street. Persons in want of Servants, Mechanics, Labourers &c. can be supplied.—

Charge for every separate Registry, 1s. 3d.

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ADVERTISEMENTS inserted at the following rates—

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For 1st insertion six lines and under,
each subsequent insertion,
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First insertion, ten lines and under,
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IN WHICH VARIETY IS TO BE THE
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CONSISTING OF
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On every Subject that can embrace the INSTRUCTION and
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The Subscription is fixed at twelve Shillings per Annum for this City; for twelve Numbers containing at least sixteen Pages and which will be encreased in proportion to the encouragement the Conductors may meet with.

The Subscription Money to be collected
quarterly.


Quebec,
PRINTED BY W. H. SHADGETT, AT THE NATIONAL AND BRITISH
PRINTING OFFICE, HOPE STREET.


HOUSE OF ASSEMBLY,                
Saturday, 13th February, 1819.

Ordered, That the Rule established by this House on the third day of February, one thousand eight hundred and ten, concerning the notices for Petition for private Bills, be printed once monthly in the public news papers of this Province, during three years.

Attest        Wm. LINDSAY.        
Clk. Assy.

HOUSE OF ASSEMBLY,                
Saturday, 3d February, 1810.

Resolved, That after the close of the present Session, before any Petition is presented to this House for leave to bring in a private Bill, whether for the erection of a Bridge or Bridges, for the regulation of a Common, for the making of any Turnpike Road, or for granting to any individual, or individuals, any exclusive right or privilege whatsoever, or for the alteration or renewing of any Act of the Provincial Parliament for the like purposes; notice of such application shall be given in the Quebec Gazette, and in one of the news papers of the district, if any is published therein, and also by a notice affixed on the Church Doors of the Parishes that such application may affect; or in the most public place, where there is no Church during two months, at least, before such Petition is presented.

Attest        Wm. LINDSAY,        
Clk. Assy.

The Printers of the Newspapers in this Province are requested to insert the above Resolutions in the manner directed by the first. Their accounts will be paid at the end of the year at the Clerk's Office, House of Assembly.


HOUSE OF ASSEMBLY,                
Monday, 22d March, 1819.

Resolved, that after the present Session, before any petition praying leave to bring in a Private Bill for the erection of a Toll Bridge is presented to this House, the person or persons purposing to petition for such Bill, shall, upon giving the Notice prescribed by the Rule of the 3d day of February, 1810, also at same time and in the same manner, give a Notice stating the rates which they intend to ask, the extent of the privilege, the height of the arches, the interval between the abutments or piers for the passage of rafts and vessels, and mentioning whether they purpose to erect a Draw-Bridge or not, and the dimension of such Draw-Bridge.

Ordered, that the said Rule be printed and published at the same time and in the same manner as the Rule of the 3d February, 1810.

Attest        Wm. LINDSAY, Jr. Clk. Assy.

CHAMBRE d'ASSEMBLEE,                
Samedi, 13e. Février, 1819.

Ordonne, Que la Règle établie le trois Février Mil huit cent dix, concernant les notices pour les requêtes pour des Bills privés, soit imprimée une fois par mois dans les papiers publics de cette Province, pendant trois années.

Attesté.
Attesté        WM. LINDSAY,        
Greff. Assée.

CHAMBRE d'ASSEMBLEE,                
Samedi, 3e. Février, 1810.

Resolu, Qu'après la fin de la présente session, avant qu'il soit présenté à cette Chambre aucune Pétition pour obtenir permission d'introduire un Bill privé pour ériger un Pont ou des Ponts, pour régler quelque Commune, pour ouvrir quelque Chemin de Barrière, ou pour recorder à quelqu'individu ou à des individus quelque droit ou privilège exclusif quelconque, ou pour altérer ou renouveller quelque Acte du Parlement Provincial pour de semblables objets, il sera donne notice de telle application qu'on se proposera de faire, dans la Gazette de Québec, et dans un des papiers Publics du District, s'il y en a, et par une affiche posée à la porte des Eglises des Paroisses qui pourront être intéressées à telle application, ou à l'endroit le plus public, s'il n'y a point d'Eglise, pendant deux mois, au moins, avant que telle pétition soit présentée.

Attesté,        WM. LINDSAY,        
Greff. Assée.

Les Imprimeurs de Papiers-nouvelles en cette Province sont priés d'insérer les Résolution ci-dessus, en la manière ordonnée par la première. Leurs comptes seront payés à la fin de l'année, en par eux s'adressant au Bureau du Greffier de la Chambre d'Assemblée.


CHAMBRE d'ASSEMBLEE,                
Lundi, le 22 Mars, 1819.

Resolu, Qu'après la présente Session, avant qu'il soit présenté a cette Chambre aucune Petition pour obtenir permission d'introduire un Bill privé pour ériger un Pont de Peage, la personne ou les Personnes qui se proposeront de pétitionner pour tel Bill en donnant la Notice ordonnée par la Règle du 3e. Févier 1810, donnera aussi en même tems et de la même manière un Avis notifiant les taux qu'elle se proposeront de demander, l'étendue du privilege, l'élévation des Arches, l'espace entre les Bulées ou Piliers, pour le passage des Cageux, Cages et Bâtimens, et mentionnant si elles se proposent de bâtion Pont Levis ou non et les dimensions de tel Pont Levis. Ordonne', Que ladite Règle soit imprimée et publiée en même tems et de la même manière que la Règle du trois Février, 1810.

Attesté,        WM. LINDSAY,        
Greffr. Assée.

LAND ON EQUAL SHARES,

Without Purchase Money.

The Undersigned, having one thousand acres of as fine LAND as any in the Province, in the Township of Ireland, where there are several Settlers, within one mile of the Main Road called Craig's Road, is ready to treat with one person or more, to join in clearing the said Land, and raising a farm for the benefit of all concerned.—No Purchase Money Required.

LIEUT. HORSELEY, R. N.

Additional Reference may be had of the Printer.


FOR SALE,

Several Lots of excellent land directly on the line of the road called Craig's Road, in the Township of Ireland, the situation most eligible for the erection of Stores, Taverns &c. Purchase Money 20l. for each lot of 100 Acres. Apply to

COL. BOUCHETTE,        
Land Surveyor General.
Or the Printer.    

DRUMMONDVILLE.

FOR SALE—One hundred acres and more of Land, seven acres of which is cleared and in a state of Cultivation—With a good Log House, Barn &c. Price, 100 Dollars ready money. Apply to

Mr. THOMAS SHEPHERD,    
Y Maska, near William Henry.

FOR SALE,

A Handsome second hand Portable WRITING DESK. To prevent trouble, Price 6l.

Apply at the Store adjoining the National and British Printing-Office.


FOR SALE,

A Good old Work—"The Institution of the Christian Religion by John Calvin"—Date 1611—Price 4 dollars. Apply to

Mr. H. C. FLEMING,    
Or the Printer.

CHARLES LODGE,
BOOKBINDER, FROM LONDON,

No. 25, St. Ann Street, near the Scotch Church,

Respectfully returns his grateful thanks to the Public, for the very liberal support he has received since he commenced business on his own account, and begs to make known that his Spring Goods are arrived, which from the excellency of the Skins and Patterns will enable him to execute in a very superior manner any work with which he may be entrusted and on the same reasonable terms.


GRAZING AND REARING OF CATTLE.

The Proprietor having from 200 to 300 pounds at command, would be happy to engage with any experienced Grazier possessing a like Capital, to undertake the purchasing and rearing of Live Stock for the Quebec Markets, and superintend and direct the management of a Grazing Farm.

Enquire at this Office.

Wanted to purchase a Cleared Farm of from 50 to 100 Acres within nine miles of Quebec.

Enquire at this Office.

Footnotes

[1] A sentence, which translated in English would not convey half its energy and signifies a ready willingness to encounter an enemy.

[2] Heraclitus and Democrites.


Transcriber's Note

[The end of The Enquirer Issue 02 of 12 (June 1821) by Various]